Three days prior to his arrival, his statement stroke me on how I had become a burden by minimizing my list of compromise. Somehow though, I was not gilded by guilt, but rather drowned in anger as to the difference of perspectives, and the different points we chose to take off from. Thus worrying was not something to be avoided, as my withdrawing seemed no longer to be merely a threat. It appeared as one easier option.
I chose to play it dead.
The people say that only when something is not present we would start to miss it. What happens to me this time is the opposite. The re-presence, and being again accustomed to it, is what led me to another realization of what can actually fill my gaps. Because probably after all it is no longer a question of needs, or even a sense of companion. It is a matter of colors being injected into my streams.
Then wait, it is not a re-presence. It is the new presence.
(Photo taken in Cisarua, May 2008)
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